Techno Claus (who looks suspiciously like “Sunday Morning” reporter David Pogue) has gift suggestions for those on your holiday list who love gadgets, for work and for play:
Happy morrow, dear gentlemen, let’s all pause
And welcome to visit me, Techno Claus!
I came to suggest hi-tech gifting ideas,
A job I’ve now held for 14 straight years.
I am glad to be here in your decoration hall,
Cheap costume, irreplaceable accent and all.
MuteMe Button ($40)
The stupid pestilence has borne such fruit
As people yell at Zoom, “You’re on mute!”
It won’t happen to me! Because look what I got:
When it’s green, they can hear you; When red, they can’t.
You don’t have to bother with symbols for this funny leprechaun;
I will never make again from _______.
Hotdot Rechargeable Hand Warmers ($30)
These chemical hand warmers are not to my taste,
You use them once, they are nothing but waste.
But this one is electric! Rechargeable, see?
Both sides give you heat depending on the degree you choose.
Winter no longer has to mean ‘chilled to the bone’.
And hey, in a pinch, you can charge your phone!
Renvo Wireless Jump Rope ($26)
So guess what I do for my practice? no!
It’s kind of like jumping rope, minus the rope!
Low ceilings? Not a problem! tight spaces? long hair?
You can even work out if you’re stuck to a chair!
It’s monitoring your jumps on your phone, or here,
And if you prefer a truly Rope never fear!
JBL Clip 4 Bluetooth Speaker ($45)
You know who loves music while working? Dwarves!
But regular speakers are sitting on the shelves.
But this device is portable and designed with a clip
For your car, your workbench, or even your hip.
The sound and bass are great for the size
And it’s waterproof too – a pleasant surprise!
CovoBox ($57 and up)
Before: Cable and Equipment Disaster.
And yet: You made all that crude disappear!
it’s the truth! Don’t be fooled by the elegant looks:
It’s a store hand from a stack of books.
Books were saved, if that wasn’t enough
What used to be a garbage dump, you can now hide your stuff!
KJOY LED Car Sign ($60)
How many times have you, while driving somewhere,
Do you have an idea to express it to the driver there?
Don’t be silent anymore! This bluetooth screen stick,
Choose a message here, then swipe it away!
warning, thanks, how do you do,
Or make a cartoon – it’s all up to you!
Therabody smart glasses ($200)
The world, let’s admit it, causes us stress
We get more headaches, and we sleep a lot less.
But these things rub in places like this,
And there is a heat that you can make as warm as you wish.
The app provides guidance to find your safety
The monitor measures the drop in heart rate.
At 200 rockets, I know it’s not cheap
But who puts a price on refreshments and sleep?
That’s what gentlemen do: a treat of fun.
I hope you enjoyed them; Now, I must run!
I still use reindeer to go
Because nobody makes a rechargeable sled!
Story produced by David Rothman. Editor: Mike Levine.