A man has been applauded for telling his brother that his new girlfriend and the young child they share are not welcome on holidays with the rest of the family.
At the same time, he continues to include his brother’s soon-to-be wife and their children amid anger at the fact that his brother cheated on her.
Infidelity is often a major contributor to divorce, with research by the American Psychological Association estimating that adultery in some form contributes to about 20 to 40 percent of divorces.
However, there is an added layer of brother infidelity, which may go some way to explaining his brother’s tough stance when it comes to the holidays.
Alessandro Piacioli/Ben Blum/Getty
Writing under the handle u/littlefox78 in a post shared on Reddit, he explained that his brother “is still married to his wife but she kicked him out after he got his girlfriend pregnant.”
As someone who “usually” plans family vacations, he made sure to invite his brother’s ex-wife and the kids they share to the holidays to the exclusion of his brother’s new partner and their young daughter.
He wrote, “I love my sister-in-law and she will always be family to me no matter what happens between her and my brother.” “My parents also invited her to all the other family events and made it clear to my brother that his girlfriend was not welcome.”
According to the post, the couple has been excluded from these encounters for the past three years and his brother’s girlfriend is “furious” that her daughter has been “excluded” from seeing her family.
“Her whole argument is that her daughter is getting old enough to understand that her brothers are preferred over her and it’s not fair so I have to stop excluding them, especially because she’s not going anywhere and her daughter is our family too,” the brother wrote.
He is now under increasing pressure to invite his girlfriend and her baby on their upcoming vacation, but he does not want his sister-in-law to be left feeling “uncomfortable”.
Create boundaries
Commenting on the situation, Alexandra Cromer, a Thriveworks-licensed professional counselor who specializes in stress, anxiety, depression and life transitions, said, Newsweek It was “understandable” that a brother would want to establish some “boundaries” with his brother’s girlfriend.
“It appears that the issue is within the family system and that there is conflict over the way the boundaries have been established,” she said. “The issue is not whether this is right or wrong, the issue is that there is disagreement about boundaries within the family structure.”
Comer suggested having a family meeting or conversation that would allow everyone involved to decide where they stand on the situation and decide how to work things out going forward.
“This is not an attempt to persuade one way or the other, but for recovery to occur, the impact of a family member’s actions on the entire family system must be identified and discussed so that more decisions can be made about boundaries and family members’ comfort level of interaction with other members,” she said.
But while Kummer was keen to encourage open and honest discussion, most on social media were more in favor of closing the door on his girlfriend and her young child.
Plainfully_oblivious commented: “To clarify – your brother’s mistress is upset that she and her daughters are not included in the family events you are separated from?”
Meanwhile, Professor Plum Didet wrote: “I personally would invite only the wife and children and tell your brother to do it,” adding: “He made this mess so he could sit down.”
Elsewhere, OddRepulation 3675 said, “My partner just cheated and I wish my brother-in-law was as cool as you.”
Newsweek I reached out to u/littlefox78 for comment. We were unable to verify the details of the case.
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